


Kintsukuroi

by SpeccysCat (LazuliAlekto)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A marriage that was a mistake, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Divorce, Dreamworks you are assholes for doing this, Finding each other again, Fix-It, Hunk is his usual sweet self, I don't hate Curtis, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pidge tells it like it is, S8 spoilers, SHEITH - Freeform, Super pissed Author strikes back, allurance, but who the fuck is he?, there's a reason that was the very first tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 20:37:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17107727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazuliAlekto/pseuds/SpeccysCat
Summary: Kintsukuroi:means “golden repair” is the centuries-old Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with a special lacquer dusted with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. Beautiful seams of gold glint in the cracks of ceramic ware, giving a unique appearance to the piece.When Curtis proposed Shiro had honestly thought that saying yes was the best thing he could do.  He knew deep down that he didn’t love him in the same way he loved Keith, but…He wasn’t the man Keith needed.  He did love Curtis, that was something he couldn’t deny.  It was just that Keith was wildfire and galaxies caught in human/galra form.  Curtis was solid, reliable in his reactions, easy to please, easy to love.So Shiro said yes, fully believing he was doing the right thing.





	Kintsukuroi

**Author's Note:**

> after the shitstorm that was the season that shall not be named, I felt...cheated. Like everyone. As much as I would have loved to see Shiro and Keith together in the show, I was resigned to the fact it was unlikely to happen. What I wasn't prepared for was the way they butchered the other relationships as well. And as for what they did to Shiro, what they've been doing to Shiro since pretty much season three...ugh. Shiro retiring after leaving one man because he felt the pull of the stars...and then they do THAT, yeah, not buying it. And to sideline his most important relationship, platonic or otherwise the way they did was a disgusting travesty.  
> So now that I have this out of my system I will write stuff that ignores that fuck up of an excuse for a season and do the AU thing.  
> Here we have something I wrote in a flurry of anger.  
> FUCK YOU Dreamworks. I won't blame anyone but them. They are known for sticking their noses in and changing shit because they are too controlling. We've heard enough from everyone else involved throughout the show to know that this can't be what they wanted, in fact they have stated as much after S7.  
> I can only hope that maybe for the bluray release they might add back in what they took out as an extra, or they might come forward at some point and tell us.  
> Here's hoping.

Kintsukuroi

 

means “golden repair” is the centuries-old Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with a special lacquer dusted with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. Beautiful seams of gold glint in the cracks of ceramic ware, giving a unique appearance to the piece.

 

 

  When Curtis proposed Shiro had honestly thought that saying yes was the best thing he could do.  He knew deep down that he didn’t love him in the same way he loved Keith, but…He wasn’t the man Keith needed.  He did love Curtis, that was something he couldn’t deny.  It was just that Keith was wildfire and galaxies caught in human/galra form.  Curtis was solid, reliable in his reactions, easy to please, easy to love.  

  So Shiro said yes, fully believing he was doing the right thing.

  He’d been distancing himself from Keith and the other Paladins for a long time, at least since he’d returned to a human body, perhaps even before that in Keith’s case.  He had slipped a few times, but overall, he held Keith at arms length.  For his own good.

  Keith deserved more than Shiro thought he could give.  He needed Shiro to be the brother he’d named him, not…not what Shiro truly was.

  After Allura’s sacrifice, the team had met sparingly, mainly once a year.  Those dinners and long conversations into the night reminiscing had become shorter and shorter.  Keith had started vanishing earlier and earlier each time and Shiro told himself that it was a good thing.  Keith was busy, Keith was needed elsewhere, Keith was important to other people.

  A little niggle of doubt crept in when he asked Keith to be his best man.

  Keith’s expression closed off, and Shiro panicked internally.

  Keith had never shut him out like that before.

  He tried to back peddle, give Keith a way out.

  “No, I’ll do it.”

  It sounded like grudging acceptance to Shiro.

  “You…you don’t have to, Keith, I just…your my best friend and I’d really like you to be there.”

  Keith’s expression slipped a fraction, incredulity and something like disgust fleeting before he closed the shutters over it again, shrugging, “of course.”  A beat, “I’d be happy to.”

  Shiro heard the lie in his nonchalant tone.

  Keith wasn’t happy about it but was going to do it because Shiro had asked.  

  So Shiro told a lie of his own.

  “I need my little brother to stand up with me.”

  A grimace twisted Keith’s mouth for the barest second and Shiro knew then he’d made yet another mistake.  The fake smile returned, with Keith’s whispered “of course,” as if that was all he could say.

  “He’s a good guy, Keith, I think you’d really like him.”

  Keith shrugged, “he worked on Atlas with you, right?”  Shiro nodded and Keith averted his gaze.  “He was good at his job from what I saw.”

  “Yeah,” Shiro murmured, not sure what else to say.

  “Does he make you happy?”

  Shiro inhaled deeply, “yeah, I mean I guess, no, he does.”

  Keith frowned at that, “are you sure?”

  “I love him,” Shiro answered, because that part at least was true.  He did love Curtis.  Just not like he loved Keith.  Curtis was comfortable, he was gentle.  Keith was…not that.

  Keith still hadn’t looked up, “then, yeah, ok, I’ll do it.”

  “Thank you,” Shiro whispered, shifting a little to pull Keith into a hug like they used to indulge in, but Keith stiffened and Shiro halted scant inches away, able to feel the heat radiating off him.  Shiro tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder, feeling the flinch at the contact.

  It was Hunk that gave the best man’s speech, Keith saying he was bad at that sort of thing.  It was yet another lie, Shiro had seen the way Keith had handled the speech to the Galra, commanding, confident.  But Shiro bit his tongue and let Keith have his fiction.  In all honesty Shiro wasn’t sure he could have listened to Keith say nice things about him at that moment with Curtis by his side.

  Hunk really tried, Shiro gave him that.  He talked about their experiences as a team, how Shiro had helped them become Voltron, how he’d shocked Hunk when he joined in when everyone was making laser noises, playing Monsters and Mana and how Shiro always had to be a paladin.  There had been a pause after that and Hunk shifted guiltily, realising too late that the man who had played Monsters and Mana had in fact been the clone.  Not Shiro.  Shiro gave Hunk a quick smile to let him know it was ok and Hunk’s shoulders slumped a little before he went on.

  He talked about what a good man Shiro was and how he had become family and friend to them all.  When he looked down at Shiro at that moment, there was something a little vicious in his eyes that made Shiro want to shrink in his seat.  Keith wasn’t the only one hurt by the distance he’d created.

  And then Keith abruptly left half way through the reception, telling Lance that he had a mission to go on.

  The tone turned sombre after that but Curtis didn’t notice, only having eyes for Shiro.  So he plastered a smile on his face.  For Curtis.

  When the first reunion after the wedding comes around, he realises he’s not even heard from Keith that whole time, busy being a husband, working out what to do with the rest of his life.  It’s been eight months.

  Everyone is around the table already when Keith arrived, well on their way to drunken idiotic conversations and Shiro had felt somehow more relaxed than he had in a while.

  Until Keith sauntered up and unceremoniously plonked down in the vacant chair, flipping his low ponytail over his shoulder.

  Keith talks to Lance, quiet and considerate, their whispered words lost to Shiro, but the look of shared affection and grief is not.  Asks how Hunk is going with his culinary endeavour.  Jokes with Pidge about taking the world over with her new AI.  Talks to Coran for a long while about who the fuck knows what, Shiro certainly doesn’t.

  Because Keith hasn’t even said more than a clipped hello to him the whole time.  And that’s all he can focus on.

  So he asked how Daibazaal is doing and received an equally clipped answer.

  It’s his own fault.  He knows that, but it hurts still.  It’s a hurt he deserves.

  It takes him a bit to realise that everyone else at the table has had contact with Keith in the last eight months.  

  Everyone but him.

  The thought makes him morose.  

  He excused himself, saying he was worn out, half expecting Keith to say something about him being an old timer.  But he doesn’t, instead giving a sharp nod in his direction before turning back to Lance.  Shiro paused for a moment listening to Keith speak gently to Lance, asking him how he’s coping.  It’s so soft and intimate that Shiro feels his gut twist.  They used to speak to each other like that.

  His distance has done it’s job.  Keith is moving on without him, growing on his own.  Shiro has no part in it any more.  Has no right to be part of it any more.

  It’s then that he turns on his heel and leaves.

  He’s never really run away from anything, taking things head on, determined.  But he does now, weighed under by his guilt.

 

  When he arrived home, Curtis didn’t question why Shiro immediately dragged him to the bedroom, laughing at his desperation.  Desperation to feel anything but guilt and a longing for something he destroyed willingly.

  The next year is busy, Curtis convinced him to buy a house, so they spend the year fixing it up, getting lost in the details of new flooring and furnishings.  They have their first fight over something stupid like what colour to paint the bedroom, but it’s ok, Shiro makes it ok by simply giving in to what Curtis wanted all along.  Even if he secretly despises the colour and it itches at his skin every time he sees it.

Shiro started teaching at the Garrison full time, coaching along a new batch of cadets and for a while he doesn’t feel the pull of the stars.

  The next reunion takes him unawares.

  Another year and he hasn’t had any contact with Keith.  A few brief conversations with Hunk, Pidge and Lance, one call to Coran in all that time.

  He’s a shit friend.

  He tried to smile brightly and inject himself into their conversations, asking questions, inviting them all to his home for dinner.  He gets slightly puzzled glances at that.  He guessed it was too be expected.  He’d thrown up a barrier around himself and now he’s tearing it down to let them all in again.  Agreement is hesitant, but it’s there.  From everyone except Keith, who remained silent and brooding on the other side of the table.

  “What about you, buddy?” Shiro asked.

  Keith folded his arms over his chest, Lance giving him a quick glance that Keith summarily ignores in favour of glaring at the table top.

  Hunk, Pidge and Coran are doing their best to ignore the tension, but it’s settled over the table like a heavy blanket on a hot night and Shiro can’t get free of it.

  “I’m pretty busy,” Keith murmured.

  “I know, I know, it’s just…it’d be nice to see you back on Earth, catch up…” he trailed off at the guilty looks on everyone else’s faces.

  Oh.  OH.

  Keith had been back.  

  He’d been back and no-one had told Shiro.

  The dinner party never happens.

  Shiro does manage to start repairing the damage with the others, dropping by Lance’s farm a few times, listening to him talk about how pleased Allura would be with how the Juniper flowers are doing and how he’s now exporting them all over the place.  But then Lance stuttered, face turned away.

  “Keith’s even taken some back to Daibazaal with him.”

  “Oh,” Shiro said quietly.  Keith’s been back on earth again.  “That’s great,” he added weakly.

  “He finally agreed to at least be on the Council now that the Blades are fully set up with their humanitarian organisation,” Lance told him, eyes softening as he watched Shiro take in the news.

  “He’s doing well.”  There’s a lump in his throat he can’t seem to swallow around.

  Lance doesn’t answer, frowning at Shiro like he’s grown an extra head.

  His visits to Hunk are easier to deal with.  Hunk has never been one for pushing someone to talk when they don’t want to, so it ends up being the culinary expert that sees Shiro the most.  And Curtis likes him, tagging along on some of the visits to taste what Hunk has come up with lately.

  And Hunk, bless him, makes Curtis feel at home.  Because that’s what Hunk does.

  It’s Pidge that causes Shiro the most trouble.

  She’s never been one for bullshit and quickly comes to the point when he visits her lab out of the blue.

  “Why the fuck did you treat us like that?”  Cold, direct, as flat as her stare.

  “I…I don’t know.”

  And he doesn’t, not really.  He pushed Keith away for his own good, but the others…That’s a harder question to answer.  Maybe it was because he felt that pushing Keith away on his own would be too obvious.

  “Well, it felt like shit, Shirogane.”  Pidge is seething, pointing a screwdriver at Shiro’s chest, “you hurt us.  A lot.”

  “I know, Katie, I’m sorry, I’m trying to fix it…I just don’t know where to start.”

  Pidge snorted derisively, “yes, you do.  You’re not stupid despite how you’ve been acting.”  She sighed, “but I’m not sure how well he’ll take it.  You hurt him worst of all.  After how close you were, everything he did for you, you shut him out.”  She doesn’t have to name him for Shiro to know exactly who she means.  Keith.

  Shiro grimaced.  “He’s…he’s doing great, though.”

  “Is he?” Pidge fixed him with another flat stare.  “How would you know, Shiro?”

  “Daizabaal, the Blades…” Shiro murmured.

  “That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

  Shiro slumped, “I…I couldn’t be who he wanted me to be.”  He shuddered, holding it all back.  “I had to let him go, or…I’d already hurt him so much, and I couldn’t let him see what…I would have destroyed our friendship anyway.”

  Pidge grabbed his shoulder, “why?”

  Sucking in a deep breath, he met her eyes, “he didn’t feel how I did.  Do?  Fuck, it hurt me to do it, Katie, but I _had_  to…and then…Curtis…”

  Pidge’s mouth dropped open, “Shiro, what the fuck?”  She pushed him against the counter, “are you telling me you loved him, you love Keith?”  Shiro’s silence seemed answer enough.  “What about Curtis?”

  Shiro looked up, “I do love him, I wouldn’t have married him if I didn’t, I’m not a complete asshole.”

  Pidge poked Shiro in the chest, “fucking hell, Shiro, you’re not an asshole, you’re a fucking idiot.”

  “Huh?”

  Pidge rolled her eyes, “no, nope, I can’t deal with this!”  She glared at him, “do you know what you missed out on because you were to much of a pussy to _tell_ him how you felt…feel…whatever?”  She poked Shiro again, “think about how he used to look at you, really think about it Shiro, contrary to how you’ve behaved you are smart, you’ll figure it out.”

 

  Shiro does think about it, more than he would care to admit.  He can close his eyes and vividly see the soft expression on Keith’s face, the way his eyes would be wide and open, giving himself freely to Shiro in a way no-one else ever has.  Not Adam, not Curtis.

  He thought about the way Keith instinctively knew when Shiro had been struggling, would offer him comfort just with his presence, not pushing, just…there.

  Curtis tries.  Shiro knows that, but the way he grumbles some mornings after Shiro has tossed and turned all night, or tried to make him talk about it when he’s not ready to, well, that grates on him.  It shouldn’t, but it does.  Curtis just doesn’t know what Shiro had been through before they met.  He’s never felt the need to tell him.  How does one just sit down and tell their husband that he was tortured, forced to kill in arena for the pleasure of the Galra, how he’d died and been suspended in Black’s consciousness until Keith found him, saved him again.

  It’s selfish, but he needs Keith.  He needs him back in his life in any way he can get.

  Curtis noticed his distraction, and in his usual way he tried to get Shiro to discuss it.

  “C’mon, Takashi, I’m your husband, we’re supposed to talk about these things.”

  Shiro sighed, running a hand through his fringe, “I’m alright, really honey.”  He looked up into the warmth of Curtis’ eyes and saw the hurt there.  He sighed again.  He was apparently really good at hurting people he loved.  “I’m sorry, Curtis, I just…I stuffed something up royally.  I’ll work it out.”  He patted his lap, “c’mere.”

  Curtis frowned for a moment, “you can’t just fob me off with sex, Takashi.”

  Shiro’s head snapped up, mouth dropped open.  “What?  I…I don’t do that, why would you say that?”

  Curtis sat down heavily, head in his hands, “you do, you don’t know you’re doing it, but every time something is on your mind, or your upset you want sex.”  He glanced at Shiro sadly through his fingers, his wedding ring prominent on his finger.  “I mean, it’s not that I’m complaining, but you hardly even check in with me that I’m in the mood…and lately…it’s been…”

  “Oh God, I haven’t hurt you have I?” Shiro blurted, shame painting his features.  He reached his hand out and took hold of his husband’s.  “I’m so sorry.”

  Curtis shook his head, “no, you haven’t hurt me like that.”

  Shiro bit his lip, “but I have hurt you in some way?”

  Curtis slumped back, “you have,” he admitted.  “You shut me out, all the time and when I ask you fob me off.”

  “I…I don’t mean to, honestly.”  He squeezed Curtis’ hand gently, “I’ve never been that good at expressing how I feel, I’m better at action.”

  “I know, Takashi, I do,” his husband said.  “But if we’re going to work, we need to communicate and right now, we’re not.”

  Shiro’s gut tightened, he couldn’t lose Curtis too.  He shot a panicked glance at him, “I…I’ll try harder, Curtis, really, I will.”

  And he did try harder, but somehow he just couldn’t really open up to his husband the way Curtis needed him too.  Which led to a suggestion of couple’s therapy.

  Shiro baulked at that, just like he had at therapy for his PTSD.  He preferred working things out on his own.  And that was part of the problem he had with Curtis.  No matter how much he told himself he would try, no matter how much he actually _did_ try, he still pulled away, kept his problems to himself, retreated to where it was safe.

  He put Curtis off, asking for more time.

  He ducked his head, hiding from Curtis’ disappointed face.

  Shiro didn’t look up again until he heard Curtis leave.

  There was only one person he had ever felt comfortable talking to.  He pulled out his communicator, staring at it briefly before steeling himself.

 

  **Hi Keith**  
**I know you won’t be expecting to hear from me**

**And that’s my fault**

**I’ve been a dick, A grade variety**

**I want to apologise in person, but…**

**I don’t know if you’d even want to see me**

**So, I am so sorry**

**For everything**

**Shiro**

  

    The message went unanswered, which he wasn’t particularly surprised by.  A little disappointed, but he had expected it.  He could only hope now that maybe at the next reunion he and Keith could talk a little, maybe start to repair the friendship that Shiro had broken so badly.  He missed Keith, missed the quiet acceptance, his taciturn nature, the understanding in his eyes that told Shiro he didn’t need to say anything.

  He thought he had a reign on his feelings for Keith now, could be the friend, the brother that Keith had thought he was.

  Shiro should have remembered how bad he was in the judgement department.

  After dismissing his last class for the day, Shiro left the simulator room and crossed the hallway, heading to his office.  He happened to glance through the hangar doors and ground to a halt.

  There was a Galran transporter parked in one of the visitor bays.  

  He recognised it.

  Shiro’s heart leapt into his throat.  Maybe Keith was here so they could talk, maybe he missed Shiro as much as Shiro missed him.  Maybe he hadn’t wanted to answer the message in favour of them speaking face to face.  Shiro felt an excitement he hadn’t felt in…years.  Then a lance of guilt went through his chest.  Even being with Curtis didn’t excite him that way.  Not any more, and maybe not ever.  Not like this.

  He received some odd looks as he hastened through the Garrison halls looking for a familiar mop of unruly black hair.

  A low laugh, one he knew well.

  He skids to a halt, something about the tone making the hair on the back of his neck rise.

  He almost sobs, clapping his hand over his mouth to stop the cry.  He has no right to feel the way seeing what he does.  He has no right to the jealousy that runs rampant through his veins.

  Takashi Shirogane doesn’t run from much.  But he sprints away from the scene of James Griffin wrapping his arms around Keith and claiming his lips in a kiss that was reciprocated enthusiastically.

  He doesn’t go home that night and Curtis leaves with two suitcase full of his clothing to stay with a friend.

 

  Shiro knows he looks like shit when he goes to the next reunion.

  His marriage is all but over.  He can’t sleep, dark circles under his eyes.  The nightmares are worse than ever.  And he can’t get the image of Keith kissing James out of his head.

  He hadn’t bothered shaving, not seeing the point, no-one cares what he looks like anyway.  He slid his glasses on and sat quietly at the table, his responses quiet, hushed.  He’s still wearing his wedding ring even though Curtis hasn’t lived in the same house for over six months.  He hasn’t told anyone yet, still not quite accepting the fact that he’s failed at yet another relationship.  He can’t bring himself to meet anyone’s eyes around the table and see the concern or pity, or maybe the lack of it.

  Keith is on the opposite side of the table and Shiro glanced up exactly once to see a puzzled expression on his face before he flicked his eyes away.

  He shoved back from the table abruptly, “sorry, I…” he trailed off unable to finish the sentence.

  Pidge jumped up and followed him, “Shiro, wait…”

  He halted, back to the table behind them when Pidge peered up into his downcast face.  Her expression softened, something so rare for her that Shiro’s lip wobbled.

  “Hey, God, Shiro are you ok?”

  He shook his head, “not really,” he murmured quietly.  He ran a hand distractedly through his hair, “I’m sorry, I’m not very good company tonight, I don’t want to bring everyone down.  They don’t deserve that, you don’t deserve that.”

  “Is this about what we talked about?” she asked, steering him around the plinth of Allura’s statue and out of sight.

  He nodded, “some, yeah…and…other stuff,” he admitted twisting his wedding ring.

  Pidge noted the action, “Curtis?”

  Shiro’s shoulders started to shake, “he…he’s moved out.”  He glanced at her quickly, then away not able to bear the sympathy in her eyes.  “I think it’s over.”

  Saying it out loud made it real.

  “Oh, Shiro, I’m so sorry,” Pidge muttered, leaning into him, wrapping an arm around his waist.

  “It’s my fault, it’s _all_  my fault, Pidge,” Shiro mourned.  “He…he wanted me to open up to him and I just couldn’t.  I tried, but…I couldn’t even tell him half of the stuff we went through, what I went through.”  He glanced at her again, “I just couldn’t tell him that stuff, ya know, it was…it felt…I don’t know…too private to share…fuck, that sounds bad.”  Shiro shook his head.  “I couldn’t tell my husband private stuff.”

  “Have you ever talked about it with anyone?”

  He bit his lip and nodded, “K…Keith.  He…understood.”  He sucked in a shaky breath, “he got me to talk, but he never forced me to…I wish…I wish I could now, but he hates me, Katie.”

  Pidge sighed, “you know, Shiro, you can only really hate someone the way Keith hates you when you love them, when you love them so much and they hurt you.  So you think you hate them, but underneath…”  She squeezed Shiro gently, “he’s tried to convince himself he hates you, that he’s not running away from how he feels about you.”

  “I can’t be…his brother,” He swallows around the words like ash in his mouth.  “But, I do want to at least be his friend, I miss that so much.  I think I could be that for him, I could cope with being his friend.”

  “Shiro, I’m gonna say this exactly once, so listen you big dumbass,” Pidge hissed in his ear.  “He doesn’t want you for a brother…he never did.”

  With that she got up and walked away leaving Shiro gaping at her retreating back.

  By the time he staggered back around the base of Allura’s statue, Coran was the only one still there.

  Shiro slumped in his chair, reaching for the half full bottle of nunvil, pouring himself an overly generous glass and swallowing it down before Coran can tell him to go easy.

  Coran eyed Shiro cautiously, then let his eyes drift back up to Allura standing serene and commanding above them.

  “I like to think she’s watching us, watching over us,” Coran murmured.

  “So do I, Coran,” Shiro answered, following his gaze.

  “She would be upset you’re in such pain, she would want to help you.”

  Shiro met Coran’s gaze for a moment, “I know…I’m sorry I ruined the evening.”

  Coran reached over and patted his hand, “it’s alright, number One.”  He leaned back, staring back up that statue, twirling his moustache, “I think I’ll head in.  Don’t drink too much of that,” he said with a wave at the bottle, “you earthlings aren’t accustomed to it.”

  

  As Shiro staggered and wove his way back to his room, he wished he’d heeded Coran’s parting words.  He was so fucking drunk he could hardly see, let alone walk.  He thudded against the wall, slipping to the floor with a grunt.  Maybe he’d just rest here for a bit, wait for everything to stop spinning so wildly.  He hiccuped, cradling his head in his hands, wedding ring cold against his temple.  Blearily, he pulled his hand down, staring at the gold band.  Then slipped it off his finger and into his pocket.

  It was time.

  He grabbed his communicator and pecked at the screen.

 

**I want a divorce**

**I can’t do this any more**

**I’m sorry**

  Thudding his head back on the wall, he hiccuped again, the sound dissolving into a broken sob as the communicator slid out of his grasp and onto the floor with a thunk.  He let the tears fall, sucking in rasping breaths, thudding his head back again.

  There was a vague whoosh, then a soft “fuck.”

  Shiro blinked away the tears, trying to focus.

  Keith knelt down in front of him, lips pursed into a tight line, brow furrowed.

  “Keith?” Shiro mumbled.

  “You’re a fucking mess,” Keith growled, swiping up the communicator he’d dropped, frowning at the screen as it lit up.  “Did you just ask your husband for a divorce over text?”

  Shiro hiccuped again,”yep.”

  “Wow, that’s…that’s fucking low, Shiro,” Keith said with a shake of his head.

  “Left me six months ago.”  Shiro shrugged sloppily, accepting the communicator back and shoving it in a pocket.

  “Oh…sorry,” Keith grimaced.

  Shiro shook his head, regretting it immediately, “my fault.”

  Keith rolled his eyes, standing and extending a hand down to help him up, “c’mon, you can’t sleep here, where’s your room?”

  Shiro stumbled as he found his feet, planting a hand against the wall for balance, shrugging again, “dunno,” he slurred, peering around to try and work out which door was his.

  “Fuck,” Keith swore again, “fine, you can have my bed.”

  “No, no, no, you…I can’t…just leave me here.”

  Keith’s eyes glowed golden, “Takashi Shirogane, if you don’t get in there right fucking now I will pick you up and throw you in there.”

  Shiro gaped, then burped, staggering forward to obey before Keith got angrier.  He didn’t want Keith any madder than he was already.  And he was too busy trying to process Keith calling him Takashi to think of anything else.  Keith pushed him inside, the door swishing shut behind them.

  He was in a room, a small room, alone, with Keith.

  Shiro thought he might hyperventilate.

  “Hey, hey, you’re not gonna throw up are you?”

  That shocked him out of his thoughts, snapping his head up, “no, dun thinks so.”

  Keith gave an exasperated sigh and shoved him onto the bed, “sit there, don’t move.”

  Shiro blinked up at him with wide eyes, “m’sorry,” he mumbled, his voice small.

  Keith’s eyes narrowed, “no, we’re not doing this now, not while you’re off your tits and I’m so fucking mad at you.”  He stalked away to the bathroom, returning with a glass of water, thrusting it towards Shiro, “drink this.”

  Shiro nodded pathetically, cupping the glass in both hands and drinking it all down.

  “Thank you,” Shiro whispered, afraid to speak louder.

  Keith swore, “please, don’t do that either, just…lay down and sleep it off.”

  “But,” he protested before he was silenced with another golden glare.

  Shiro curled up as small as he could make himself, hiding his face in the pillow that smelled like Keith.  All that did was make him want to reach out and grab hold of Keith.  Sniffling, Shiro blinked his eyes open to spy Keith rummaging for another blanket and pillow, settling himself on the little couch in the corner.

  After a few tense minutes of silence, Keith sighed, “why…why did you pull away from me?”

  The question sounded so plaintive, morose and Shiro’s heart broke a little more.

  He started to babble.

  “I…after the…facility and Allura put me in this body, I was…confused?  I started remembering things…things he’d said, he’d done…Things _you_  said.  There, while I was trying to kill you…fuck.”  He trembled on the bed, sucking in deep breaths.  “I couldn’t stay in Black with you…I wanted to, but…I couldn’t deal with how I felt around you.  I mean, I know you would have sat with me and talked it through, but I would have…I just couldn’t.  You’ve saved me time after time and I…you wanted a brother, thought of me as your brother.”

  Keith made a pained noise from across the room.

  “I wanted you to be happy…and I’m broken Keith, I have been broken for a really long time, maybe even before Kerberos.”  He flexed his Altean hand with a soft whirring sound.  “You’re so selfless, you would have…I would have fucked up our friendship anyway…and then when we got back to earth, things got so busy, it was easy for me to hide in work…And then we had to save _all fucking realities_.”  He paused, “I kind of wished we’d find a new one to…be in, one where…”  He trailed off, he couldn’t say it.

  “Sometimes, I think we did end up in a different one,” Keith murmured.  “Everything felt…wrong.”  Keith rolled over and peered at Shiro from his spot on the couch, “why did you abandon me?  You said you never would…”

  “Keith, I wanted you to be happy, to succeed…to find someone to be with who…I would have ruined things between us if I hadn’t stepped back.”

  “But _why_?  That’s what I don’t get, Shiro, why?”

  “I guess I can’t make things worse, can I?”  He mused.  He met Keith’s eyes for a second.  “Because I couldn’t be the brother you wanted, I don’t feel that way about you, I haven’t since…since you found me when I crashed back to earth.  You said you loved me, but you said I was your brother…And I…I love you too, but, not that way.”

  Keith sat up, dislodging the blanket in his lap, “what?  Fuck, what?”

  Shiro sighed, “I know, I’m sorry, I…I wanted to be there for you like that, but it…it hurt.  And then you…you were gone all the time and Curtis was there…I did love him, that wasn’t…I didn’t lie about that, but he wasn’t _you_.”  He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling in defeat.  “He was safe and comfortable, I thought I was doing the right thing…and when he asked me to marry him, I thought…well, that doesn’t matter, coz I was a dick.”  Another deep sigh left him.  “I tried to be a good husband, but I was shit at it.  I couldn’t even talk to him about…well, about anything really.  He has no idea about my captivity, the arena, dying, being brought back…none of it.  He wouldn’t let me come to him in my own time, he would just _ask_ all the time, push, you know?  Even my nightmares started to annoy him, not that I blame him…they’re pretty bad, but I couldn’t even talk to him about it.  We drifted apart and then…then he left me.”

  “Shiro…” Keith murmured.

  “And every time I saw you…God…that was torture of a different kind,” he huffed out a morose laugh, unable to stop speaking.  “I missed you so fucking much, it was like an ache, but the damage was done, I could see you hated me.  But you were succeeding…and then, you and James…”

  “What?” Keith hissed.

  “I saw…I saw you kissing him…” Shiro whispered.  “I didn’t mean to see that, it just happened, but I figured you had someone and you must be happy.”  Shiro grunted, slinging his arm over his eyes, “I fucked everything up, but at least you get to be happy.”

  “Fucking hell, Shiro…I can’t…I can’t deal with this, I need to think and you’re drunk…Just…go to sleep, please.”

  “Ok Keith,” he murmured.  “M’sorry.”

  

  Shiro woke to the worst hangover in the history of hangovers.  His brain felt like it was pulsing in a skull that was two sizes too small, his mouth felt like a cat had slept in it, his throat felt like someone had taken to it with sandpaper, and his eyes were burning.

  It took him several minutes for his drunken rambling to come crashing down on him.

  “Shit,” he whispered, turning his head to find that Keith had already left the room, blanket folded neatly on the couch where he’d slept.  He’d probably already gone back to Daizabaal.

  With a resigned sigh, he rolled out of the bed and straightened it as best he could in the state he was in, slapping the door release, he stumbled out and made his way down the hallway to the room he should have spent the night in.

  A shower and a fresh change of clothes helped somewhat, but the sinking feeling in his stomach wouldn’t go away.  He couldn’t face himself in the mirror so he didn’t bother shaving, instead settling his glasses on his nose, he wandered back out to Allura’s statue.

  Thankfully it was quiet, so he sat his ass down heavily, resting his elbows on his knees, holding his aching head in his hands.

  His communicator chimed and he groaned.  He had a feeling he knew who it was.

  He swiped at the screen, reading the notification.

  Curtis.

  He couldn’t deal with it right then, setting the communicator down beside him.  Taking his wedding ring out of his pocket he turning it over in his hand, sighing for another relationship ruined.  He was still looking at it when a set of muffled footsteps had him shoving it in his pocket again.

  “Keith,” Shiro blurted in surprise.  “I…I thought you left.”

  “No, you’re the one that did that,” he spat back.

  Shiro sucked in a breath, holding back the retort on his lips.  He slumped, Keith was right, he’d abandoned him.  “Yeah, you’re right.”

  Keith huffed, “I know I am.”  He sat beside Shiro handing him his communicator, noting the wince Shiro gave as he fiddled with it.  “What?”

  Shiro looked at the ground between his feet, “Curtis messaged me back.”

  “Oh,” Keith said quietly.  “What did he say?”

  Shiro laughed morosely, “I haven’t read it yet, dunno if I can.”

  “Shiro,” Keith admonished.  “Rip the bandaid off.  Get it over with before you end up stewing over it.”

  He glanced at Keith, expecting an implacable stare, instead he got sympathy which broke him more than he thought it would.  He felt tears prick at his eyes.  God, he wasn’t going to cry _again_.  He turned the communicator over in his hand, swiping at the screen, looking back at Keith.  He got a small encouraging smile.  The first that had been directed at Shiro in years.

  

  **I wish you hadn’t done it this way, but I can’t say I’m surprised**

**And I was expecting it**

**I’ll have the papers drawn up and I’ll collect the rest of my things**

**I’m sorry, Takashi, I really am.  I thought I could make you happy**

**But we both know I couldn’t**

**I hope you find someone who can**

****

  “Well…that’s it then,” Shiro muttered.

  Keith leaned back on his hands, keeping his eyes fixed on the gardens around the base of the statue, “what did he say?”

  Shiro told him, voice flat.  “So, I’m getting divorced.”  He snorted, “at least I can change the fucking paint in the bedroom now.”  Keith choked, blinking at him with wide eyes.  “It was god awful, I used to shudder every time I looked at it.”

  Keith bit his lip, holding back a laugh, then he let loose.  He wiped his eyes after a minute, calming down, shooting Shiro a devious grin.  “Sure that wasn’t because of the sex?”

  Shiro’s mouth dropped open, “what?  No,” he muttered, cheeks flushing.  Since when did they talk about sex?  “It wasn’t that.”

  Keith sniggered, “you sure, maybe you were bad in bed and that’s why he left.”

  “Keith!  What the fuck?  You don’t know what I’m like in bed…”  He trailed off when Keith raised an eyebrow at him.

  “And whose fault is that?”  Keith slid his eyes away, then back, his own cheeks turning pink.  “You never gave me the chance to find out.”

  “But…but…”  Shiro snapped his mouth shut.  “Ok, now I am fucking confused.”

  “You think you’re confused, how do you think I felt hearing the reason you pulled away from me was because you thought I wanted you to be my _brother_?”  Keith rolled his eyes, “everyone else could see it, why couldn’t you?”

  “See what?” he asked softly.  He licked his lips nervously as Keith bit his own, indecision flicking over his expression.

  “Fuck, do I have to spell it out for you?”

  Shiro nodded, “I am obviously really dumb about this, Keith.  I need you to make it crystal clear to me…please.”

  Shiro let out a yelp as his lap filled with a very determined Keith, claws scraping his scalp as Keith pulled his head back, a flash of purple from his eyes and then Shiro’s brain went blank as Keith crushed their mouths together.  He was so shocked, he didn’t respond for a moment.

  Oh, Oh, fuck!

  Keith was kissing him.

  And there was nothing chaste or brotherly about it.

  Shiro groaned into Keith’s mouth, letting his hands grip the slim waist in his lap, pulling him closer as he let his tongue curl around Keith’s.  Keith’s responding growl at Shiro joining the kiss sent little sparks down his spine unable to help the involuntary buck of his hips up into Keith.  It was everything he’d thought kissing Keith would be like, unbridled, wild, ferocious in its intensity.

  Utterly, completely perfect.

  When they eventually pulled apart, Shiro was panting, cheeks hot, lips bruised, so dazed he couldn’t think, let alone speak.

  The soft look on Keith’s face was back, one he recognised and now understood for what it was.  He groaned again, lifting his hand to Keith’s cheek, rubbing is thumb over the scar he’d left behind.  Keith leaned into his hand, dark lashes fluttering shut, chest rising and falling quickly with each harsh breath.

  “I’m not your brother,” Shiro whispered against Keith’s lips.

  “Mmmhmm, yeah, no, you’re really _not_ , Takashi.”

  Shiro whimpered, curling his hand around Keith’s low ponytail, letting his lips trail over the sharp line of his jaw, nibbling his way to the jump of his pulse in his throat.  He licked over it, Keith shivering in response.

  Keith tucked his arms around Shiro, sighing in contentment.

  “God, Keith, baby…am I dreaming?  Please, tell me I’m not, that this is real.”

  Keith ground his hips down, ripping a groan from Shiro at the friction, his sharp teeth nipping at Shiro’s earlobe, “does this feel like a dream?”

  Shiro couldn’t even register the fact that they entwined like there were, out in the open where anyone could see.  The fact that Keith had kissed him…that was almost impossible to get through his brain.  It did feel like a dream.

  “It’s real?”  Shiro looked into Keith’s eyes, hesitant.  “God, I’ve wanted you for so long…I thought it would never happen…I can’t wrap my head around everything.”

  “Would talking about it help, like, sort it out in your head?  I…I don’t want to push you into something you don’t want…I don’t want you to try to fix things between us like this if…if you’re just doing it because I want it.” Keith said quietly.  The doubt in his voice held Shiro’s attention.

  “Yeah, we need to talk…” he began, Keith pulling up off his lap.  For once this sort of conversation didn’t feel like an attack or chore.  Shiro held on, tight, afraid to let him go, Keith blinking down at him, purple galaxy eyes wide as they looked down at Shiro.  “I need you to know I want this for me and for you.”  He tugged Keith back down beside him.  “I just need to wrap my head around the fact that…you want me like that, amongst other things.  I’m about to get divorced, Keith…I’m a bit freaked out…but I’m not running.”

  “Ok,” Keith whispered.  He stared down at Shiro’s hand laced with his, stroking his finger over the one that had recently worn the wedding band.  “I…it’s going to take me a while to trust you again, trust that this is…that we’re happening.  Can you understand that?”

  “Yeah, I understand that, Keith, really.”  

  “Shiro…” Keith started, then looked away.  Shiro waited patiently, he could see he was struggling with something.  “Look, I’m sorry too, I know I…shit, ok…you pulled away because of how you felt and you thought I wanted a brother, right?”  Shiro nodded, stroking his hand, willing him silently to continue.  “It wasn’t all your fault…I could have said something, but I wanted you around any way I could have you.  I’d been dealing with it for a long time, so I was better at tamping it down, maybe…There were times it was…hard.  Every time you touched me or would look at me a certain way…I was internally having a gay crisis.”

  Shiro snorted, “oh, I get that.  I really get that.  That’s why I stopped touching you.  Every time I just wanted to pull you close and…well, yeah, it wouldn’t have been brotherly.”

  Keith shook his head ruefully, “we’re idiots.”  He bit his lip as he looked at Shiro, “everyone kept telling me to tell you how I felt, kept saying that something wasn’t right about how you were acting, but…”

  “Yeah, well, I’ve had Pidge trying to knock sense into me as well, probably Lance too in his own way.”

  “Lance has been…he’s been my sounding board for a while now, we got close.  After what happened with him and Allura, he…he’s really changed.  Insightful even.”

  Shiro mulled that over for a moment, “I think the loss of Allura is something that hit him deep, deeper than any of us even noticed at first.  We all knew he was grieving, but what the fuck is up with ending up on a _farm_?”

  Keith laughed, “I know, but he’s happy out there, he feels at peace with the flowers around him that Allura loved so much, and he comes to New Altea and talks to the kids a lot.”

  They were both silent for a while, glancing up behind them at Allura’s serene form.

  “Keith, can I ask something?”

  “Yeah,” Keith answered, a little guarded.

  “You…you don’t have to tell me, I mean it’s private and I…it’s not my place I guess, but…what’s between you and James?”

  Keith looked down, pink painting his cheeks, “oh, that.”  He huffed out an embarrassed laugh, “I guess all that animosity between us was something more like…sexual tension.  There’s nothing more to it, just sex.  He knows that, I know that, just blowing off steam, I suppose.”  He snuck another look at Shiro, “I mean he’s hot and all, but he’s not you.”

  Shiro blushed, pushing his glasses back up his nose, “right.”

  “You know you’re hot right, I mean, you always have been, teenage me had a lot of…issues with that, but now,” Keith fanned his face, grinning.  “You’ve got this grizzled, buff, sexy librarian thing goin’ on.”

  “You’re pretty hot yourself, Keith,” Shiro sniggered, letting his gaze wander.  “When you came back from the Space Whale, oh my fucking God!  The clone almost had a coronary, my hormones went fucking nuts,” he chuckled.  “And then seeing you in the elder Marmora uniform, shit, that was…I lost the plot when I saw that.”  He shot Keith a sheepish look, “Curtis didn’t know why I was…a little keyed up.  He accused me of using sex to avoid stuff too, but I don’t think he ever worked out that part.  I hope he didn’t, but…I did love him, I’m not gonna lie about that, I wouldn’t have said yes and married him if I didn’t.  I thought I was moving on.”

  “I guess that’s what I was doing with James too.  It was good, nice, but I just kept wondering what it would be like with you,” Keith said quietly after a moment, leaning his head on Shiro’s shoulder.

  “I want to know what it’s like too, but…can we wait a bit, take it slow.  I have this divorce thing hanging over my head and…I guess we have to work out how this is going to work, between us.”

  “Yeah, we can do that,” Keith assured him.

 

  They talked a few more hours, only breaking off to lunch with the others.  Normally both Keith and Shiro would have left early that morning, heading back to their lives, but this time they stayed, much to everyone’s surprise.

  Pidge caught sight of a few shy glances exchanged and the distinct lack of tension between them, grinning  maniacally at the pair, despite the carefully maintained space between them.  She nudged Shiro playfully.

  “Told you so,” she whispered.

  Shiro ducked his head, “yeah, you did, you were right.”

  “Louder please,” Pidge crowed.

  Shiro laughed, “you were right,” he near shouted.

  Hunk tilted his head in confusion, Keith covering his mouth to hide his own grin, then to Shiro who bit his lip as he looked at Keith.  Comprehension dawned as Pidge waggled her eyebrows in their direction.

  “What, what, _really_?” he gasped.  Then he pointed at Keith, “does that make you a homewrecker, dude?”

  Shiro shook his head, “no, he’s not.  I’m separated.  Have been for over six months.”

  Lance leaned forward, Altean marks glowing on his cheeks, “I’d say I’m sorry Shiro, but none of us thought it was right, you belong with Keith.”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  Keith took his hand under the table, squeezing it slightly in solidarity and comfort.  Their soft smiles at each other made everyone else coo at them.

  “Aww, look at that, never thought I’d get to see them looking at each other like that again.”  Hunk wiped a tear away, “it’s beautiful guys.”  He leaned forward suddenly, “can I cater the wedding?”

  “Fuck, let him get the divorce over with first, Hunk,” Keith choked.

  “Oh, right, yeah, good idea,” Hunk muttered.

  “Well, now that all is right with the universe and these two are back to being the ridiculous saps they were before…” Pidge began.

  “We were _not_!” Keith spat, indignant.

  “Uh, dude, you totally were,” Lance drawled, crossing his arms, “even I noticed it.”

  Shiro chuckled, enjoying the relaxed atmosphere around the table, Coran raising a toast to new horizons, new relationships and moving forward.

  Shiro cleared his throat, garnering everyone’s attention, “I have another announcement.”  He paused for a moment as the others waited expectantly.  “Once I go back to earth and sort everything out, I’m selling my house and resigning from the Garrison.  Then…then I’ll be going to Daizabaal to help the Blades, I want to teach there, maybe, help the rebuilding or something.”

  “And be close to Keith,” Pidge added with a grin.

  “Yes, that too,” he admitted, squeezing Keith’s hand before he brought it to his lips to press a kiss to his knuckles.  “I was never meant to stay on earth.”

  “You were made for the stars, Takashi,” Keith whispered.

  Pidge made a gagging noise, “oh, fuck, I forgot just how bad it was being around you two and now it’s a thousand times worse.”

  Keith frowned, “hey!”

  “Aww, Baby, it’s ok,” Shiro soothed, leaning into Keith, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

  “Case in point,” Pidge grumbled.

  “They look so happy, I’m gonna burst from happiness,” Hunk sobbed.  Lance hugged Hunk to his side, while Coran came around and slung his arms around both Keith and Shiro’s shoulders.

  “I could not be more proud of you two, and I know Allura would be so pleased to see you like this,” Coran murmured to the both.  “Your bond was always strong and I am glad to see it flaring to life again.”

  “Guys…” Lance spluttered, the blue marks on his cheeks glowing brightly, eyes wide.  “S…Something’s happening.  Can you…can you feel that?”  He swivelled his head around, confused and panicked.  “I __f_ eel _something, I can hear…”  And then Lance was off at a run towards the new castle.

  Coran took off first, then the others scrambled after them, skirting round the base of the castle to find Lance with his face raised to the sky.

  “Shit,” Keith hissed.  He glanced up at Shiro by his side, “do you feel it?”

  Shiro closed his eyes and concentrated, then snapped them open, feeling exactly what Keith was talking about, deep in his core, winding through his mind.

  Lance dropped to his knees, Coran following, cradling him.  Pidge and Hunk flanked Shiro and Keith, all of them waiting, eyes on the sky.

  “There,” Lance shouted, pointing.

  They all held still, hardly daring to breathe as the lights grew brighter in the sky.  Led by Blue, the Lions settled down on the ground with a familiar thump, dust swirling around them.  Blue crouched down, opening his maw wide.

  A white lion emerged, stalking towards them slowly, regal in its gait.

  A flash of white light surrounded it as it made its way to Lance, blinding them all.

  Shiro gaped when his vision cleared.

  Allura, kneeling in front of a sobbing Lance, arms tight around each other.  Coran was a babbling mess, kneeling to engulf them both, and then all of them were in a huddle, laughing and crying.

  

  “I’m so sorry, Princess,” Shiro said, “I…”

  “Shiro, hush, it’s alright, I’m back now and you and Keith found your way back to each other, that’s all that matters.  As soon as the bond came back, I could find you all.”  She leaned forward in Lance’s grasp, patting his hand, “we all have the time we need together.”  She leaned back and kissed Lance’s cheek.  “This one helped, I found him first.”  Lance held her tighter.  “I told you I would always be with you.”

  Shiro cleared his throat, “ahh, guys, I think we should give them some time alone.”

  Pidge grinned in that evil way of hers, but Hunk hastily grabbed hold of her and ushered her out, before she could say something that they would all regret hearing.  Coran looked affronted for a moment, until he gazed down at the oblivious pair at which point his expression melted.

  Shiro and Keith followed him out, hands linked.  They ambled along, both still in shock at Allura’s reappearance, shooting each other questioning glances.

  Allura had tried to explain, but had given up when Lance had attached himself to her like a limpet.  All Shiro had been able to register is that the Paladin bond had created a pathway for her to follow.  He felt intensely guilty.  He’d been the one to sever it.  She may have been able to come back so much sooner had he not been such an idiot and Lance - all of them - would not have had to grieve over her loss.

  Keith tugged on his hand, “you’re thinking too much, like she said, she’s back.  That’s all that matters.”

  Shiro went to protest but Keith’s raised brow halted him, “yeah, ok.”

  Keith snorted derisively, “nice try, old timer, I know you’ll be blaming yourself for this.”  He snuggled into Shiro’s side, “I know you were the Captain of the Atlas, but you really don’t need to hold the whole world up any more.”

  Pulling Keith in tighter, he stopped in the hallway, stroking Keith’s long fringe out of his eyes, “I guess I have you there to remind me of that now, don’t I?”

  Keith’s smile was soft, eyes wide and trusting, “as many times as it takes, Takashi.”

  Shiro let out a noise something akin to a whine, “you’re just…you’re gonna use my name like that every time you want me to go gaga, aren’t you?”  He nuzzled Keith’s cheek, “it’s beyond distracting.”

  “That’s the plan,” was the cheeky reply.  “I like seeing your brain short-circuit like that.”

  Shiro pressed his lips to Keith’s neck, whispering softly, “I could show you short-circuiting, if you like.”

  Keith groaned, draping his arms over Shiro’s shoulders, “I thought we were waiting.”

  He tugged at Keith’s earlobe teasingly, “I think three years fighting a war, a year getting ready for battle on earth, then another five away from each other might just be waiting enough.”  He pulled back to assess Keith’s reaction.  The parted lips, darkened purple of his eyes, flush to his cheeks, told Shiro everything he needed to know.  But he still waited for Keith to respond.

  He got his answer in the form of a kiss and very hard squeeze to one of his ass cheeks which had the end result of him grinding into Keith against the wall outside his own room, not in it, which would have been preferable seeing as they were interrupted by a moustache twirling Coran and a furiously blushing Hunk.  No Pidge.  Small mercies, Shiro supposed as he blushed and muttered apologies as he slapped the reader on the door and hustled Keith inside.

  Keith pounced on him the moment the door swished shut, bouncing up and clinging to Shiro like he was climbing a tree, mouth locked with his, plundering his mouth as he fisted his hands in the longer strands of hair on the top of his head, holding him very definitely in place.  Shiro was more than happy to be there.  He twisted around and leaned Keith against the wall, giving as good as he got, tugging on Keith’s ponytail to tilt his head back.  Shiro wanted more of that gorgeous neck.

  He coaxed the most delicious sounds out of Keith, low moans, little whimpers and the sexiest fucking growl he had ever heard in his life.

  Shiro’s head and body were wanting different things.  His body wanted Keith, right now, against the wall, hard and fast until they were both a sweaty collapsed mess on the floor.  His head, and consequently his heart, wanted to gently ease Keith back onto the bed and take him apart slowly, explore every inch of him.

  Shit.

  He didn’t even know what position Keith preferred.

  Only one way to find out.

  “Keith…Keith…Baby,” Shiro muttered between being chased for kisses.

  “Mmm,” Keith answered, thoroughly distracted.

  “Ahh, do you prefer top or bottom?”

  “Fuck, Shiro, right now I don’t care,” Keith groaned.  “Either…either is good.”

  Shiro whined, nuzzling Keith’s jaw, “God, you’re perfect, you know that.  I want to do _everything_  with you.”  He lifted Keith away from the wall and carried him to the bed, lowering him down.  Keith kept his legs wrapped around Shiro’s waist, dragging him down to lay over him.  As Shiro had often thought, Keith was impatient, wanting to remove Shiro from his clothes, but Shiro was determined and methodical, peeling Keith out of his t-shirt and then pressing open mouthed kisses over his neck, chest, licking his nipples, nibbling at the sharp jut of his hips.  He worshipped every scar, large and small, lavishing them with soft kisses as he learnt every dip and valley of Keith’s form.

  Keith writhed under him, panting his name, fingers curled in his hair, around the back of his neck.

  “Fuck, Shiro!”

  Shiro hummed around a nipple, flicking it with his tongue, while his hand stroked up and down Keith’s side.  Letting the peaked nub go with a slick pop, he peered up at Keith, “I like how sensitive you are.”

  “That could be coz it’s you,” Keith gasped, his eyes glazed as he looked down.

  Shiro flitted his fingers over Keith’s shoulder, then down his chest, toying with a nipple as he went, because, quite frankly he can’t help himself.  When he dances them down Keith’s ribcage, to the sharp jut of his hip, Keith keened and Shiro finally let himself flick the button on his jeans open.  Then refused to go any further in the endeavour of getting Keith naked, much to the wearer’s annoyance and frustration.

  “You’re a fuckin’ tease, Shirogane.”

  “Am I?” Shiro wondered, hand wandering the long expanse of Keith’s thigh.  A thigh that trembled under his touch.

  “Takashi!  Please!”  Keith fixed him with wide purple doe eyes, fluttering his lashes.  A blatant attempt if there ever was one.

  And one that Shiro falls for willingly.

  A little more strength behind his grip rather than the feather-light touches of previously, Shiro gripped Keith’s hip, his other teasing over the now distinct bulge under the zip, enough that the thing is coming apart on it’s own.  Shiro decided to help it.  He tugged on the tag, dragging it down with a soft shirr and made sure his knuckles brushed over the line of Keith’s cock.

  Keith wriggled his hips, assisting Shiro in pulling his jeans off.

  Shiro grunted as he finally got the damn tight things down Keith’s thighs.

  “Why do you wear them so tight, not that I’m complaining, because hello, your ass in jeans is __f_ ine_, but they’re a bitch to get off.”

  “I like ‘em tight,” Keith answered.

  Shiro grinned at that, darting forward to nip at Keith’s lip, “so do I.”  His hands immediately mapped out Keith’s long, long legs the moment he had them free of the restricting material.  “I love your legs, fucking gorgeous,” he hummed, stroking them appreciatively.  “Can’t wait to have them wrapped around me.”

  “Coulda fooled me,” Keith hissed, “you’re taking so long.”

  “I’ll make it worth it,” he promised, his voice dropping an octave, expression hungry.  He eyed Keith’s briefs, straining against the length of him, a dark spot forming near the bulge of the head, sliding a hand up to cup him gently, feeling Keith twitch under the touch.  His head dipped forward again, whispering in Keith’s ear, “patience yields focus, Baby.”

  He giggled at Keith letting out a string of curses.

  Shiro slipped out of his shirt, tossing it aside and shucking his own jeans off, laying over Keith to deliver several kisses to his cheek and sharp jawline.  Keith dropped his thighs open, bringing their groins into direct contact.

  “Ohh,” Keith moaned, gripping hold of Shiro’s back, claws digging in, keeping him close, head tipped back, giving Shiro all the access he needed to nibble at the long line of his throat.  Keith canted his hips up and Shiro ground down eliciting deep moans from the both of them at the friction.

  “Fuck,” Shiro hissed, “you feel so good under me.”

  They rutted together for several minutes before Shiro lost patience, pawing at Keith’s underwear, dragging it down over his hips so Keith’s cock bounced free.  Letting out a whine, he shuffled between Keith’s thighs and in one swift move had the hot velvet length engulfed in his mouth, working his tongue against the sensitive spots, sucking, hollowing his cheeks as he bobbed up and down.

  “Oh shit, oh shit, OH SHIT!”

  Keith’s cock pulsed against his tongue and Shiro sucked harder, ghosting his fingers over his balls.  Keith tugged at his hair, obviously torn between shoving Shiro down further and pulling him away.

  He pulled off with a wet pop, licking the head, teasing the slit, “I wanna taste you, please, let me taste you.”

  Their eyes met as Shiro descended again, taking him into his throat, forcing his gag reflex down, Keith nodding weakly.  Keith tried to hold his hips still, but Shiro pulled up again.

  “Shiro?”

  “Fuck my mouth, I can take it,” he murmured.

  Keith whined, shoving Shiro down.  His eyes rolled back in his head as he sucked down again, nose buried in the coarse hairs at Keith’s base.  The cock in his mouth pulsed again, twitching.  Shiro renewed his efforts, palming Keith’s balls as they pulled up closer to his body, his lover thrusting up into his mouth.

  The sounds Keith was making were delicious, music to Shiro’s ears as he brought him closer and closer.

  With a hoarse cry of “Takashi!” Keith spilled into his mouth.  Shiro swallowed convulsively, lapping at him, licking up every last drop.

  Keith was panting, wide eyed when Shiro leaned up over him again, groaning as he tasted himself on Shiro’s tongue.

  Shiro’s own cock was throbbing with the need to bury himself in Keith by this stage, grinding against his thigh, his hip, anything just to get some much needed friction.

  “You ok, Baby?” he asked, voice rough.

  Keith mewled softly, “oh my God.”

  Shiro grinned, “ready for more?”

  Keith’s eyes fluttered shut, “oh hell, yes.”  Shiro chuckled at that, sending his Altean hand to retrieve his travel bag.  He set it down, rummaging through it.  He was _sure_  there was lube and condoms in there.  He’d put them in when he’d planned a quick weekend away with Curtis, fastidious Curtis who insisted on condoms because he hated the clean up, then it had never happened, but he didn’t remember taking them out again.  He grimaced at the thought of using something he had effectively wanted to use with his now ex-husband, then grimaced again…maybe the condoms were out of date.

  His fingers brushed against the bottle he was looking for, then the box that accompanied them.  He pulled both out.

  He squinted at the box, while Keith lay sprawled out on the bed, hair sneaking from the confines of it’s tie to billow out like a dark halo.

  “Ummm,” he glanced at Keith, “I don’t have my glasses on, are these out of date?”

  Keith burst out laughing, dissipating the ball of tension in Shiro’s stomach, “give ‘em here, you big dork,” he said, snatching the box from Shiro.  He glanced at the expiry, “no, they’re fine, but you don’t have to use one, not if you don’t want.”  He flushed slightly, “I’m clean, and if you’ve got those, you probably are too, right?”

  “Ahh, yeah…and there’s been no-one since…and he always wanted me to wear one…so…” Shiro trailed off, not really wanting to explain further.

  “And before him…no-one since Adam?”

  “Yeah,” Shiro murmured, becoming more and more flustered.

  “Did you use them with Adam?” Keith asked quietly.  Shiro nodded, fiddling with the bottle of lube.  “Well…that makes me your first for something then doesn’t it?”

  Shiro’s head snapped up, “Keith…”  Keith smiled at him, slightly wobbly.  “Hey,” he whispered, dropping the bottle, tossing aside the box of condoms.  “You are first…I wanted you before Curtis…I just didn’t think I could have you…if I’d known…”  He pulled Keith into his lap, fully aware that Keith didn’t quite trust what they had yet.  “I love you, Keith, more than I have ever loved anyone…you anchor me in a way no-one ever has.”

  “Say it again,” Keith whispered thickly.

  He cupped Keith’s face in his hands gently, “I love you.”

  Purple eyes darkened and Shiro grabbed the lube.

 

  They fought.  A lot it had to be said, but it was never over their relationship.  Keith had never had a good temper and wasn’t one for holding back.  Shiro gave as good as he got, relishing in the fact that he didn’t need to hold back and be polite or give way to Keith.  And after they always made up, usually ending in a fit of giggles and completely forgetting why they had argued.

  And the make up sex was rather spectacular.

  Laying with Keith in a sweaty tangle of limbs, Shiro had never felt so…at peace, sated, loved and complete.

  His divorce had gone through without a great deal of animosity, although Curtis had been a little more distant after he discovered Shiro and Keith were together.  Shiro had wanted to shield his ex-husband from that knowledge but Curtis had turned up at the house to sign some paperwork and caught the pair indulging in a soft sweet kiss in the kitchen.

  They’d jumped apart, both with guilty looks on their faces, but Curtis had merely straightened his spine and handed the papers to Shiro without saying a word.

  He’d remained silent throughout all the meetings with their respective lawyers after that.

  Shiro could tell he’d been hurt and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

  Leaving Earth pretty much permanently after that had seemed wise.  No need to rub his new relationship with Keith in his nose.

  As for the new part of his life, he was revelling in it.  He’d hated being a proxy politician, had itched to get back amongst the stars and now he was.  Working with the Blades, side by side with Keith was bliss.  Hectic at times, even dangerous occasionally, but totally blissful.

  Keith called him an adrenaline junkie.

  Shiro could only laugh at that and retort that most pilots were in some way.

  When they did venture back to Earth it was generally to see Pidge, Sam and Colleen, and Hunk.  Hunk, who had finally mustered up enough gumption to ask Shae out.  

  As for Allura and Lance, their wedding had been the most emotional thing Shiro had ever witnessed.  He wasn’t sure who had cried more, Allura and Lance, or Coran, or the rest of the Paladins themselves.  After they had pledged themselves to each other, Shiro had glanced at Keith wistfully, wondering if they would ever do the same.  He thought they probably would at some point, though they didn’t need to define what they had in any way, he just supposed he was sentimental like that.

  And Krolia had been hinting in her subtle scary way that she expected something of the sort.

  Shiro still winced when he remembered their first encounter when he arrived on Daizabaal.  It could have been so much worse than it turned out to be.

  Krolia never really showed much of what was going on internally on her face, but the blatant shock and hostility had made him step back nervously.  Until she glanced at Keith and spotted their entwined fingers.  And Shiro’s missing wedding ring.

  “Ahh,” she’d whispered, tugging Keith out of Shiro’s hold, “I’m happy for you kit.”

  Keith hugged his mother fiercely, “thanks for putting up with my shit.”

  She’d cupped his face, “you combine the best of humans and galra, Keith.  You love without restraint and fight fiercely for those you do love.”  She had glanced at Shiro then, smiling softly.  Then she’d shocked him by pulling him into a hug, “welcome, Shiro, and if you ever hurt him again like that, I will hunt you down,” she hissed in his ear.”

  Shiro gulped, “ahh, yeah, won’t be doing that, I spent far too long trying to deny how I felt about him, not letting him go ever again.”

  “Good, be sure you don’t.”

  “Don’t threaten my boyfriend,” Keith interjected.

  Krolia raised a brow, staring down her son, who didn’t even flinch under implacable glare, “do I need to tell him about how devastated you were?”

  “No, Krolia, you don’t,” Shiro answered for him.  “I know, and I promise I will never be the cause of that sort of hurt again.  I want Keith to be happy.”

  Krolia assessed him coolly for a moment, then leaned in, “you do realise, Galra mate for life?  We do not give our hearts easily.”

  Keith facepalmed, “God, he doesn’t need the shovel talk.”

  Shiro grinned, “it’s ok, Baby, I think I can handle a lifetime with you.”  He grasped Keith’s hand again pressing a fond kiss to his knuckles, “I’ll love it.”

  Krolia watched her beloved son melt, smiling softly up at Shiro and she nodded sharply, “well, now that’s established, is there a ceremony I need to prepare for?’

  Keith had sputtered, blushing furiously while Shiro merely smiled serenely.

  Kolivan had just grunted when he saw them together, “about time.”

  It was the only thing he said on the subject before he launched into detailing the next Blade mission.

  Shiro was on a solo mission this time.  One Keith was unaware of.  He knew Shiro had needed to go to New Altea, but he was not privy to the core of Shiro’s mission.

  Coran knew though and it was him that met Shiro’s shuttle when he arrived, waving wildly.  Shiro grinned as he stepped out, clapping Coran on the back.

  “How are you, my boy?  Is Keith well?”

  “We’re both great, Coran, now don’t keep me in suspense, do you have what I wanted?”  Coran beamed and handed over the small parcel.  Shiro unwrapped it and inspected the handiwork.  “Fantastic, Coran, you’ve outdone yourself.”

  “My Grandfather taught me everything I know,” Coran intoned, moustache twirl added for emphasis.

  Shiro laughed, “well, he taught you well.”

  “Now, please tell me you’re not going to jump straight back in that thing and head off before I can feed you.  Hunk was here earlier, you just missed him, but he did leave something for you to sample…a special cake.”

  Shiro raised a brow, “you told him?”

  “No, not in so many words, but he saw what I was working on,” Coran said, gesturing to the now re-wrapped package.  “He guessed.”

  “It’s meant to be kept quiet, you know how hard Keith is to surprise.”  He glanced at Coran’s guilty expression.  “The others know too, don’t they?”

  “Well, yes…but that wasn’t my fault.  Hunk is hopeless with a secret, but he assured me he won’t tell Keith.”

  Shiro sighed, exasperated.  He ran a hand over his face, “fine, I guess it just means I have to do this sooner than later before one of them spills the beans.”

  Coran cocked his head to the side, “are beans particularly deadly?”

  Shiro laughed, “no Coran, Earth saying, don’t worry about it.”

  “Right,” Coran muttered, just as confused as before.

 

  Clutching the little parcel, Shiro stepped back onto Daizabaal soil.

  It was Krolia rather than Keith meeting him, as arranged.

  “Does he know anything?” Shiro asked her.

  “No, he is still unaware of the true purpose of your visit to New Altea.  As am I, Shiro.”  The very slight head tilt was the only indication of her curiosity.

  “I…I’ll tell you, or he will, I just need to…prepare myself, then I’ll find him.”

  “You seem very nervous,” she observed as they began walking out of the hangar.

  Shiro barked out a laugh, “yeah, I kinda am, but…in a good way.”

  Krolia abstained from further comment as she walked with Shiro back into the Blade headquarters.

 

  Proposing to Keith turned out to be far less nerve wracking than he thought.  Once he was with Keith, all the nerves bled away leaving him with a sense of rightness.  Keith was a touch suspicious when Shiro cooked dinner, squinting at him when he turned around in mock innocence at the suggestion he would burn down the kitchen.

  “I will not burn down the kitchen, I can actually cook some things,” Shiro muttered, poking at the stove.

  “Like what, Old Timer?  I’ve yet to see you cook anything that wasn’t charcoal.”  Keith leaned on the bench behind him.

  “I think I can manage to heat some water and stop the sauce from burning,” Shiro snarked back good naturedly.  Maybe, he added to himself.  He would check in with Hunk if things got out of control.  Keith chuckled behind him.  “If the peanut gallery is quite finished…make yourself useful, get me a beer please.”

  He could practically hear Keith’s eye roll behind him, but the fridge opened and he was handed his beer.

  And a kiss to his cheek.  

  “I don’t know why you’re doing this, Takashi, but I’ll go along with it,” Keith sighed, sipping his own beer.

  “You’re too suspicious, you know that, right?”  He glanced back from tending the sauce to spot the eye roll this time.  Planting a quick kiss to Keith’s forehead, he turned back, “I just wanted to treat you, Baby.”

  “You don’t have too.”  Keith’s tone had softened.

  “I want to.”  He grinned back at Keith, “now, stop hovering.”

  “Fine, I’ll set the table.”

  “Umm, it’s done, we’re eating outside,” Shiro said quickly, hiding his face.  He’d quickly done it earlier while Keith was showering, slipping a lighter into his pocket for the candles.  Maybe not the most inventive setting, but for them it would be alright.  Neither of them were particularly interested in making romantic gestures.

  “Right,” The suspicion was back.

  As they eat Shiro’s excitement bleeds out, infecting Keith with his own brand of nerves.  Shiro can’t stop reaching into the pocket of his jeans, just to make sure and Keith is bouncing his leg under the table, shooting confused glances at the man sitting across from him.

  The very second Keith sets his fork down, Shiro breaks, slipping to his knee beside Keith.

  That action is enough of a give away and Keith gapes at him, totally at a loss for words.

  “I…fuck, I had soooo much I wanted to say, but right now, I can’t think of any of it.  I should have written it down,” Shiro muttered.  “I’ve never done this before.”

  Keith laughed sharply, sounding more like a sob as he stared down at Shiro on his knee.

  Shiro looked down at his hand.  Right, the ring.  He was going to need that now.

  He fumbled in his pocket and almost dropped the fucking box on the floor, catching it just in time.

  “Takashi…”

  Shiro snapped his head up so fast he had a feeling he would be feeling it the next day, but right then Keith was the only thing he could focus on.

  “You never gave up on me, even when I was being an ass, it was always still there and no matter how hard we both tried to ignore it, this thing between us has always drawn us back to each other.  You said as many times as it takes…and I’m saying that to you now.  I will spend the rest of my life making sure you know exactly how much I love you.”  He paused, opening the box to reveal the polished hematite ring with both red and black crystals sunk into the surface.  “If you’ll have me…would you marry me, Keith?”

  Keith sunk to the floor beside him, cupping his face, “yes, of course yes.”

  Shiro let out a whoosh of air, grinning like a mad mad, unable to wipe it off his face, tears tracking down over his cheeks.  He hands were shaking as he took the ring out, grabbing Keith’s hand to slip it over his finger.  Then he found himself flat on his back, Keith laying over him, peppering his face with kisses.

  The pair giggled through their tears, Keith collapsing on top of him as his body shook.

  “Keith, I love you.”

  Keith leaned up enough to look at him properly, “I love you too, Takashi, so fucking much.”

  The force of Keith’s kiss took his breath away, gasping when they parted again.

  Kosmo popped in then smothering them both in wolfy kisses to get in on the action, gigantic tail swishing back and forth, threatening to smack them both in the face as he bounded back and forth.

  Keith eventually gathered enough composure to try and shove Kosmo back, “c’mon, you’re way too big for this.”

  Shiro was still giggling, hysterically happy, “good boy Kosmo.”

  Keith turned back to Shiro, helping him to his feet, propelling him to the bedroom with a swat to his rear.

  Shiro bit his lip.

  “You, in there now, husband to be, I’m gonna wreck that ass.”

  

  Shiro threw his head back, clutching at the sheets on their bed, at Keith, at anything as Keith made good on his promise, splitting him open in the best way, pounding into his prostate so hard Shiro saw stars.

  Or maybe they were the galaxies and nebulas he saw every time he looked into Keith’s eyes.

  Keith tangled their hands together, Shiro able to feel the cool ring press against him as he held on.  He was always going to hang on, he was never going to let Keith go again.

  Keith picked up the pace, Shiro feeling the familiar tightening in his stomach, arching up against Keith, urging him in deeper, harder.  His ass fluttered, convulsing around Keith’s cock as it drove into him.  He couldn’t stop the sounds spilling from his mouth, he didn’t want to.  He wanted Keith to hear and feel what he was doing to him, shoving him closer and closer to the edge with every thrust.

  Shiro was already overstimulated from Keith’s thorough preparation, licking and fingering him open and was gasping and crying out, shouting Keith’s name.  His skull was thrumming, skin on fire, throat worn ragged.

  Keith dipped his head down, hair plastered to his cheeks as he claimed Shiro’s mouth again and again, breathing the same air.

  His own cock lay untouched, leaking against his sweaty stomach, but Shiro could feel he wouldn’t need the extra stimulation, his orgasm barrelling down on him with the force of a freight train.

  Keith could feel it.

  “Come for me, Takashi,” he urged, thrusting faster, almost bestial now.  Every time he drew back out then plunged in, Shiro was shoved up the bed, Keith chasing him, holding him close with a firm grip on his hips.  It’s fucking awesome, and too much and not enough as he felt the tightening coil, spiralling higher and higher…

  Shiro could only do as he asked, a scream tearing from his already abused throat, Keith’s name a garbled mess as he came so hard he blanked out, going limp under Keith.

  Keith slowed for a moment, Shiro clenching around him so tightly.  The moment Shiro blinked his eyes open Keith resumed his onslaught, chasing his own release.

  Shiro canted his hips up, coaxing him on, clasping at his back, staring up at his flushed face, watching the Galra in him surface, his eyes glowing golden, claws digging into Shiro’s hips.  Keith growled, low and thick in his throat, collapsing over Shiro with a shudder as his hips worked feverishly.  Shiro mewled as he felt the hot jets of Keith’s come paint his insides.

  He held Keith tight to his chest, kissing where he could reach, stroking his messy hair back off his face.

  “I love you,”Shiro rasped out, kissing his fingers where they were still entwined with his own.

  Keith let out a contented sigh, almost sounding like a purr to Shiro.

  Their eyes met, bleary, glazed and sated.

  “I love you too, Takashi.”

  They curled up together, heedless of the mess, just wanting to bask in the afterglow.

  Shiro smiled dopey and breathless.  This was his life now.  Keith was his life.  

  They would chase the stars together.

  And that, Shiro thought, was all he had ever wanted.

 

 

 

  

  

   

  

  

  

 

  

  

  

    

**Author's Note:**

> ok, one last thing. I love Voltron, I loved the dynamic between the team, but after getting a glimpse of the bitchiness of some within the fandom, I held back on the edges. I've been writing fanfic for years and it was only until I wrote for Voltron that I started getting nasty comments. Years I have been writing, years. And it's only now that I find myself gaping at the nastiness.  
> I'm not sure what it is about this fandom that promotes such...trolls to appear, but know this...if you don't like what I write, fine, but if you come to abuse me, you will get deleted without answer. People who bitch at me because they didn't read a tag just piss me off. And why would you read a fic tagged as Sheith if you don't like that ship? *rolls eyes*


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